Pues nada. Yo tenía que haber hecho hoy cosas “importantes” fuera de casa…me había cogido el día libre a costa de esos festivos raros que hacemos para santificar las fiestas, y me había propuesto moverme por “el lado oscuro de la vida”. Se lo llamo a los bancos, las cuentas, las operaciones de pon allí-quita allá, deberes y haberes, debes, has, hasdebes, dhebesas, cómo osas deber, mujer, etc etc y blablabla….
El caso es que….UN MOMENTO!!! YA ESTÁN AQUÍ-I! No son los espíritus de Poltergeist, ni es la Santa Compaña, ni el Tea Party, noooo!
Son los helicópteros! Han vuelto! La tregua solo duró medio día y medio!
…y digo yo, ¿qué habrá hoy que vigilar, para que hayan sacado a los bichos? O bicho, que probablemente sea uno, pero…no….no, no, suena a dos licóteros.
Como decía antes de que empezaran a sobrevolarme, había pedido el día libre para hacer las cosas de “el lado oscuro de la vida” (también llamo así a una cestilla de plástico amarillo donde echo, sí, literamente echo, sin abrir ni mirar, cuantos sobres me llegan de los bancos o de procedencias igualmente oscuras, que suenan a dinero).
Pero no hice nada. Todo el día en casa. Llegué a ponerme hasta la bufanda para salir, pero nada.
Es que no encuentro mi tarjeta de plástico, ni la de coordenadas, ni una mísera cartilla del año que sea, ni los recibos que tengo que devolver y los que quiero cambiar, ni la domiciliación del impuesto del basurazo….y qué voy a hacer en un banco después de perder así los papeles? Lo intenté después con la banca electrónica, pero deben de haberme expulsado porque no encuentro el camino para llegar a mí misma, a esa parte numérica de mí.
Sin coñas, estos motohelicolidalmente sustentados pájaros mecánicos son pesados hasta decir basta, eh? Y sigo sin saber si son los de Espe, los de Bottle, los de Mariano, los del Fondo Monetario Internacional o uno de los jets de Amancio Ortega que va pa la boda de la hija.
Lo que verdaderamente quería enseñaros es este anuncio de un aditivo de feromonas para poner en el perfume habitual o colonia preferida, que vale para hombres, mujeres, tigres de bengala, perrillos de la pradera, gekos, iguanas, jirafas y ángeles. Es americano, como tantas otras cosas horteras. Hombre, podía ser chino, pero entonces serían feromonas de dragón y los dragones no se dejan extraer feromonas tan fácilmente. Les hacen falta para no extinguirse.
Pour Athena Pheromone 10Xtm for Men or
Into your favorite fragrance and let the power of human pheromones increase the affection in your life.
|Read Media “tests” of Athena Pheromones:FoxTV’s Test ofAthena on Identical Twins
ABC 20/20’s Test of Athena pheromones on 20-something Twins and 40-something women.
Athena Pheromones added to your favorite fragrance can increase the romance in your life by enhancing your “sex appeal” by promoting your sexual attractiveness. (Anecdotal input from many customers report that 10:13 and 10X help them in their business relationships as well.)
The following are actual comments from Athena Pheromone 10X and 10:13 users (names changed for privacy):
Athena Pheromone 10X
Aftershave additive for Men
Athena Pheromone 10:13
Perfume additive for Women
|Dan, M.D. (NE) “I am a family physician and have tried several different products advertised on the WEB as human pheromone based. Athena’s product has proven the most effective for me.”Roger (Internet) “Just wanted to say that I went into the camera store the other day and was astounded when two women started making eyes at me and started flirting with me. Amazing. It was so funny how they were acting…Then all the women at work have started being VERY nice to me.”Lance (NH) “It’s not that I can’t get along without it, but it gives me something extra. The barrier between the sexes is removed. I enjoy women ( and they enjoy me) on a completely different level. . Women seem to face me more directly; you know, more body language, more eye contact. I am in sales and the women I work with allow themselves to get closer and are less fidgeting. There’s something very nice there. Also, in a romantic sense it doesn’t hurt. Do other people tell their spouses? I keep it to myself, it’s my secret and it works for me.”
Don (TX) “Please send me 3 more vials of Athena 10X. I love your product. It’s really, really amazing what this stuff does. You definitely get more hugs out of this thing. In fact, you get a lot more than hugs.”
Dean (NC) “I would like to order a vial of the 10X. A group of us buddies were playing golf together on Sunday and ‘Fred’ who is a pharmacist told us about the work of the Athena Institute, how you guys extracted the sex attractant of men and now manufacture it as a fragrance additive. We went to lunch together, had forgotten all about the pheromone conversation, when the waitress got very interested in Fred. She asked him what he was wearing that made him smell so wonderful. I want some of that 10X, please”
Larry (OH) “Please send me another vial of the 10X. This stuff is working. My wife and I are already divorced, so it was too late there. She and I have had problems for years, but now there is no anger anymore. And everyone else has reacted. I have found a NEW friend. I am not what you call attractive but with 10X I am attractive to my new friend and I noticed people are friendlier. That makes you feel good.”
Jim, 48 (CT) “Women are crowding around me in social situations. 10X really works! Other men are trying to figure out what I have that they don’t. Women say to me, ‘There’s something about you that attracts me.'”
Sam (Canada) “I am a medical doctor in family practice and have been single for the last 4 years. Not dating very much. Since using 10X, this has changed. I’ve tried it and the results have been phenomenal. Thank you, Dr. Cutler!”
Sammy (E-Mail from Taiwan) “The 10X seems really effective. My wife would do things she never would have done before..we are more like a ‘bee to honey’ relationship now.”
Jeremy (TX) “Please send me 10 more vials of 10X for men. We are using it as a sales tool because it seems to be working. We are asking our salesmen to wear the 10X-spiked fragrance because customers want to stay with the salesperson much longer. It seems to keep the customer interested in hearing what the salesperson has to say. We sell a variety of industrial products.”
Jake (PA) “Please send a vial of 10X for me and one of 10:13 as a gift for my friend. I was in your original double-blind study and am sure I got the placebo because nothing happened. [***we looked him up, and he was right***] But after we bought a vial of each product both my girlfriend and I noticed a major change. People were much more attentive around us. I noticed it and she also noticed it separately. It really is amazing.”
(Don, TX) “It has made more success in my [romantic] life. I have a younger woman chasing me and she is very interested … That sure makes a guy feel good.”
|Graduate School Professor Gives her class a 10:13 “test”
Read what she reported to Dr. Cutler–Bridget (TX) “I love this stuff. I have never had trouble dating men, but since the 1013, I have noticed a real difference. I have definitely become one of your faithful customers. If I don’t put it on, I feel like I am missing something. I am going to be 50 years old this year and I have noticed that men pay much more attention to me, even young men. And it is good attention…a kind of sweetness in men. Dr. Cutler, it is a pleasure to talk with you, keep up the good work.”Cara (NY) “Oh , Dr. Cutler , how nice to talk with you. I have seen you on television. I do like the product and I will just tell you one incident. I take dancing lessons. I do ballroom dancing. I have a very fine dancing instructor. But when I am wearing the 10:13, it seems like he forgets his steps! I am not sure if that is so good for my dancing lessons but I know that the pheromone is effective.”
Julie (MO) “I would like to order another 10:13 and mixing bottle for my daughter. I got to tell you your stuff is wonderful. We started buying it in ’94. I bought it and didn’t tell my husband I was buying it. It worked just great. Then when my daughter got of age I bought one for her to add to her perfume. Now she is 22 but the boys from high school still remember her…so now she only wants one thing from me for Valentine’s Day. Another vial of that special Athena for her perfume.”
Gerta (NY) “I would like to order 3 more vials of 10:13 and 2 blue mixing bottles. It is amazing! I went to Penn State and have a degree in Chemistry…I graduated in the sixties and am very interested in the mind-body connection. Let me tell you, the Athena product works. When I wear the 10:13, I seem to be sending out some kind of positive signal that draws men to me. It is really incredible.”
Lisa (VA) “It works! I work for United Airlines and have not been yelled at one time since I started using the 10:13. It is so interesting to see how customers start to get angry with me and then they back off, get nicer and calmer. It’s not that it makes people fall in love with you , but it sure makes them a great deal more pleasant to deal with. In my job, handling people, that counts for a lot. Thank you for making my life easier!”
Betsy (OH) “The 10:13 is extremely effective in my romantic personal life. Right now I am fighting them off there are so many men interested in me. I will be 50 in January and with your product life is just starting for me! I am a school teacher. Last year I attracted the man of my dreams. He was very stand offish for a year but within a week of my wearing your pheromone 10:13 in my long time scent he asked me out. Thank you so much for a fine product.”
Joy (WV) “I like the reactions I get with the 10:13. *** Men who I don’t even know just play with me. They flirt. *** I am having the time of my life and I thank you, Dr. Cutler.”
Donna (FL) “Please send me another Athena 10:13. It enhances my sales. I am in Real Estate and my customers stay with me like I’m honey. They don’t leave my side even when the house I am showing is awful. They say ‘Let’s look at another house.” Also, they call me and ask me to show houses to them that other Realtors advertise as if they want to be near to me.
I have ordered many times and used it in several different fragrances. I do note a very big difference with wearing the pheromone and have tested it by not wearing it for awhile and then starting again. For me, it enhances my sales and, although I am good at my real estate work, this makes my sales even better. It makes people come to me and stay with me. They do not want to leave. I recommended it to my sister and to my friend. I am 39 years old. God bless you Dr. Cutler. Keep up the good work!”
Lo más inquietante son los relatos de los usuarios: un señor dice que estaba ya prácticamente divorciado de su mujer, así que para su matrimonio ya no servían estas gotas tan sexuales, pero las probó, otra personas “reaccionó” y ahora tiene una nueva amiga y se lo pasan pipa.
Otro bobón dice que quiere nosecuántos envases más porque ahora su mujer “le hace” cosas que nunca antes “le habría hecho”. A saber, porque si es de Iowa seguro que se refiere a tejerle unos calcetines de lana de la oveja más gorda de su localidad.
Y aún hay más majaderos…tanto, tanto, que creo que cuando tenga tiempo colgaré aquí sus declaraciones traducidas como me dé la gana, claro. Dan horror, aviso. Cosa de acémilas. Vomitivo. A lo mejor no existen. Dios, dios, que no existan, que les corto la cabeza!
Y esta es la jefa…Winnifred Cutler, la científica pensilvana que “codescubrió las “feromonas humanas” en 1986, lo que pienso comprobar dentro de un minuto : NO PARECE MALA GENTE…PERO………………¡UN MOMENTO! ESTE ES….ES…ES…………….ES EL PILOTO DEL HELICÓPTERO, DISFRAZADO DE LA DRA. CUTLER!
Besitos del ferodemonio.